Welcome to The Fulcrum, where I think out loud about work, community, and what it actually looks like to care about the world without losing yourself in the process. The balance is dynamic, and I'm figuring it out in real time. Glad you're here for it.
One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while you try to hold down the other.
Table of Contents
What’s on my mind: Availability Creep
The Boyle Heights warehouse fire is blowing in the opposite direction of my place on the West side, but it is hitting close to home. A neighborhood I used to frequent years ago is now experiencing extremely dangerous air, and I do not physically see it… what a different Los Angeles life I am living now. I'm texting many people, checking on everyone I can think of, and sitting with the unsettling realization that I can't keep track of all the people I know are being affected.
I am offering my place as a refuge, but I am left wondering if I have enough capacity to host them and if it's even logical for them to come here. After one text interaction, I think of who else I can text to offer my home… followed by lingering doubt about my generosity. “How many people can I actually host in one small apartment? Am I stretching myself too thin? Am I making myself too available?"
During my corporate days, when I had a paycheck, generosity felt like a form of power. I didn't feel guilty. I had the means to drop my credit card information into every GoFundMe that came my way. Now, I feel the same desire to donate to everything the way that I used to, but then I remember… wait. I don't have a steady paycheck coming in. Now I need to budget before I donate.
I'm a person of many ideas and many goals, and I need to learn to say no when I reach my capacity to help people, especially when it comes to giving back to something that has helped me before, or someone I am close to. However, my resume writing and career coaching are something that I've been doing for over a decade, and they are currently my only source of income. I do reach a point where things that I typically would charge money for, I am giving for free, and I have to draw a line.
The availability creep is emerging in different parts of my work, including the type of tasks I am taking on a Sunday night. I learned this the hard way during my coffee cooperative days, when I once took a resume client mid-shift as I was serving coffee, and they walked out because I didn’t give them the proper attention. Fast forward to now, as I review my administrative tasks, many are random, with little to connect and build systems out of or insights to pull from. And right now, I need to make sure that I'm not so scrambled in my tasks, mindsets, and priorities.
For you, reader, my current availability is through this newsletter, with my insights, resources, and responses to your questions. As a result, I will have to pause my calendar slots for one-on-one time.
Who is my time going to? My volunteer interns, because I want them to develop from this experience of building Happin with me.
Being so grateful for everything MLT has given me, I wanted to make myself available and take in a couple of volunteer interns. With the structure I like to provide, the goal is to set up a system that I can replicate and reuse for when I get volunteers in the future. And in doing so, I stopped to think of how I can use that structure for myself. I don't have a performance review. I don’t have a year-end statement of my accomplishments. In being intentional with how I nurture my own growth in this lonely process, I can take back the power of my time. At this phase of my life, when my time is flexible but my money is limited, I'm choosing depth.
Are you feeling limited in capacity in this phase of your life? Here are a few ways to stay intentional:
Scope the help before you give it. Whether it's an intern, a friend, or a client, get clear on what you're actually offering and for how long. A simple one-pager outlining expectations protects both of you and makes the relationship sustainable.
Do a weekly time audit. At the end of each week, look back at where your hours actually went, and if that is what you planned. Pivot accordingly.
Sort your tasks by energy, not urgency. Go through your list and ask: Is this giving me energy or draining it? Tasks that drain you but connect to nothing bigger are the first to cut, delegate, or batch.
Sometimes showing up means listening, not fixing. When a friend is going through a rough patch, resist the urge to solve it. Ask what they need. Often, the most powerful thing you can offer is a listening ear.
Tabs, Texts, and Takes
What makes a job good for the world? This awesome framework by the folks at Probably Good Foundation presents a straightforward way to assess if a job is actually “making a difference”.
I mentioned MLT in this article, and it changed my career for the better. If you are an undergrad, consider applying to their next cohort. If you are considering an MBA, they also have a prep program for that.
Check out this post with sidequest ideas. 33 to choose from, and number 24 is one I should probably start pursuing…
Want to get paid for economic research? OpenAI is introducing an Economic Research Exchange and actively looking for proposals. They are “seeking projects that address important questions regarding the economic impacts of AI.”
Rex (Recommendations)
“If this were a haiku rather than a book, it would read: Tell less and ask more. Your advice is not as good as you think it is.”
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier
On the topic of depth, this week’s recommendation aligns well with my current endeavor of managing young professionals during this summer’s volunteer internship. I have been a manager in different capacities (from Disneyland to Deloitte), and my leadership style changes based on urgency, type of work, and direct reports’ stage of career. Check-ins are pretty straightforward when the focus is on a task, but this book introduces ways to ask the right questions to encourage thoughtful ideas and paths forward. I am excited to incorporate my learnings.
Quotes & Qs
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of shore for a very long time.
André Gide
What are you carrying right now that actually belongs to a later season?